Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
Laura Landry-Meyer, The Ohio State University, and Karen Fournier, Grandparent Caregiver

Being a grandparent is often a much anticipated role for many adults. The idea of spoiling one's grandchildren and then returning them home to the parents is cherished. However, many grandparents are not able to fulfill this "spoiler" role.

Grandparents are increasingly assuming parenting responsibilities when parents experience major life crises in order to provide a safe, stable, and secure environment for their grandchildren. Approximately 3.3 million children under the age of 18 in the United States--5 percent of all children--live with grandparents (U.S. Census Bureau, 1991). This figure does not include extended kin households in which grandparents live in a home maintained by the child's parents. The incidence of grandparents raising grandchildren has risen 44 percent since 1980 (Jendrek, 1993).

Coping Strategies
The stress of parenting again when one should be a "grand" parent is normal. Stress is a result of positive and negative experiences. What are some coping strategies that grandparent caregivers can use?

Find a Support Group
It is a given that when a grandparent becomes a grand "parent," life will turn upside down! Connecting with other grandparents raising grandchildren can be a lifesaver during this critical time. In addition to providing a wealth of legal information, community resources, and coping skills, the support group acts as a "release valve," creating a safe, acceptable place to share stories, feelings, and concerns. There is strength in numbers!

Call the AARP Grandparent Information Center for a listing of local support groups.

Establish a Routine
Establishing a daily routine is invaluable to the grandparent-grandchild family. Regular mealtimes, naps, bedtimes, play areas, and toy boxes help to reduce chaos. Many grandchildren lacked consistency and structure in their previous home life and desire a lifestyle in which they feel safe. Predictability builds trust as well as a sense of control. Responsibility charts (available at teacher helper stores) are a wonderful aid in establishing a routine.

Take Advantage of Community
Be resourceful! Take advantage of community resources--seek out library story hours, recreation center programs, state park nature activities, summer day camps, area churches' "Mom's day out," and a host of other (usually free) offerings throughout the community. Parenting newspapers available at libraries and grocery stores publish a monthly calendar of events for children. Pick one up. Post it. Do it. Grandchildren will love the exposure to new and different activities. Grandparents will love the free time.

Let Go
At the day's end, when all is said and done, let go! Maybe the beds got made, maybe they didn't. Maybe the dishes got washed, maybe not. The toys might have been picked up, or could still be scattered around the house. Let go and let be. The commitment you made to raise your grandchild is enough. So, light a candle, read a book, sing a song, journal your feelings. At a time when your once youthful energy seems so depleted, let your grandparent wisdom kick in. Be easy. Be still. Be open. Know no matter what, all is well.

Resources
Another coping strategy which can help reduce stress is to increase your knowledge about available resources. The list below is specifically for grandparents raising grandchildren.

AARP Grandparent Information Center, 601 E Street, NW, Washington, DC 20049 or call (202) 434-2296.

• support group and grandparent organization list
  
• Tips for Grandparents brochures:

• What to Consider, Where to Find Help
• Raising Healthy Grandchildren
• Untangling Web of Public Programs
• Starting a Support Group

Title: Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
Author: Laura Landry-Meyer and Karen Fournier
Publication Date: 1997
Publisher/Institutional Source: The Ohio State University, Cooperative Extension Service
Contact: See publication.

Copyright/Permission:
This text is copyright © 1997 by The Ohio State University.
This text is reproduced on NPIN with the permission of the The Ohio State University, Cooperative Extension Service.
PERMISSION STATEMENT HERE

NPIN Acquisition: N00034. March 1998.

collected with permission from
Families Worldwide
www.fww.org